forgoodorforawesome: (I am still awesome)
[personal profile] forgoodorforawesome
"So tell me, my little friend: What's the biggest lie you've ever told? And what were the—?"

Whoa, whoa. Hold on a minute, Diggy. I didn't answer that question for Roh and Ove, and I'm sure not gonna answer it for you.

"For who now?"

[ profile] rohandove. Don't they send you emails with those questions?

"I think it's actually 'Rohan dove', and yes, she does. I'm going to answer that question, which is why I'm asking it of you."

You're kidding, right? You're gonna just give that kind of information away? To someone who could use it to hurt you?

"That's about the only way in which I can be hurt, Strong Bad. Unless I piss off Lord Morpheus or someone equally powerful."

Lord Murphius?

"Never mind. Just tell me what was the biggest lie you've ever told."

My biggest lie? Let me think... no.

"If I'm going to teach you how to use your powers for something more than just a psychic bottle-opener, we need to trust each other. As far as either of us is capable of trusting someone, anyway. That means you need to trust me, or no lessons."

You drive a hard bargain, Diggy Small. Hmmm... Probably the time I tried to puncture Pom Pom.

"Pom Pom? Your globular friend who was in here along with Homestar Runner and fhqwhgads?"

Yeah, him. Some guy wrote in asking what would happen if I poked Pom Pom with a pin, and I pointed out that it'd depend on whether he's filled with helium or hydrogen. And also depending on if he was on fire at time of poke. And that sounded cool, but I decided to raise the stakes.

"Raise the stakes?"

I blindfolded myself.

"That doesn't sound helpful."

Well, no, not really. I couldn't see what I was doin', so... I guess he got out of the way. All I know is that one minute I was runnin' right at him, the next I was on the other side of where he was, and no poke. And the minute after that, he was beatin' the ever-lovin' snot out of me. Finally uppercut me hard enough to land me back in front'a the ol' Compy 386.

"I... see."

I didn't know if Kevin'd seen it, so I denied everythin'. I said Pom Pom must'a blown up in a big fiery ball that was visible from space. And I wrote a letter to his parents, General and Fraulein Pom Pom, back on the Isle of Poms, tellin' them the same thing.

"That, I take it, was the actual 'lie' part."

You take it right, hoss.

"Indeed. And what were the consequences?"

Well, right after you walked away from the convo, Pom Pom asked me why I sent that letter to his parents. Truth to tell, I'd forgotten all about that thing. I didn't even think I'd actually sent it; must'a been The Cheat. Anyways, I stalled for time, but Pom Pom didn't buy it. He beat the ever-lovin' snot out'a me again, and finished it again by hittin' me so hard I flew through the doors and landed in front'a the ol' Compy again.

"Hopefully, you learned some sort of important life lesson from that."

Yeah. Exaggeratin' reports of people's deaths: cool. Gettin' the ever-lovin' snot beat out of you when they find out: not so cool.

"Good, good. At least you learned something."


"Never mind. To learning experiences!"

To learnin' stuff!


Word count: 574
OOC: I swear, give that little nimrod an inch and he'll walk all over you.
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April 2006

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