Would the friendlist please join me in singing the Date of Birth Song?

o/` Sweet, sweet The Cheat
today is the date on your fake ID
Now, get upstairs—unh!
And fix me some breakfast. o/`

Get out of here, Bubs. No one likes your style.

Happy The Cheatday, ilko_skevuld! Keep your mining helmet securely fastened!

So my new homey ultron_x made this offer:

Comment and I'll pick one or more of your interests to draw in MSPaint. You have zero control over which interest I pick or how much the drawing sucks (emphasis mine). Then you post this in your journal, with the drawing I made you.

The interest he picked for me was Rhino Feeder.

( And here's what he did with it. )

*Strong Bad comes in and starts up his Lappy 486, continuing to rap as it boots.*

Bow wow wow yippie-yo yippie-yay, scroll buttons' definitely in the hay-ouse...

Bow wow wow, yippie-yo yippie-yay, a brand new computer for a brand new day...

a>strongbad_email.exe

Dear Strong Bad,
Describe the best 24 hours you ever had

Chronologically,
rohandove

[he pronounced it "rohan dove" this time]

Did I say it right, Diggy? You happy now?

Oh man. The best 24 hours I ever had. They were illegal in 23 states and on a lot of planets. So I'm not gonna describe 'em in any more detail than that. Next!

Dear Strong Bad,
Who would you like to see get their final comeuppance? Who is it and just what would you do with them?

Chronologically,
rohandove

I covered this one in my reply to Steven Wolksvagen. I wanna see Dumbstar give up already, but the King of Town is a much bigger pain. At least Dumbstar manages to be so stupid he's funny sometimes. All the K.o.T. does is stuff his face. No matter what he says, he really did try to eat his own mustache once. He needs to get pea-buried alive. Immediately if not sooner.

Dear Strong Bad,
What do you have to be thankful for?

You're welcome,
rohandove

Right now? I'm thankful for my Lappy, so I can check my email again. That virus was pretty bad.

Dear Strong Bad,
What do you want for your birthday?

Blah blah blah,
rohandove

I think that Veruca Salt chick said it best. *ahem*:

o/` I want the world
I want the whole world
I wanna lock it
All up in my pocket
It's my bar'a choc'lit
Give it to me now! o/`

Or just send me moneys, whatever.

So, until next time, sleep tight, and don't let the bedbugs bite!

[CLANG! The Paper drops.]

[OOC note from aberranteyes: Strong Bad flatly refused to answer the first question in character — email, blackout sketch, monologue, you name it. This, presumably, surprises only those muns and pups who don't actually know him.]

What makes you feel vulnerable and what makes you feel invulnerable, and why?

If you asked Strong Bad, he would insist that nothing makes him feel particularly vulnerable, except maybe having Strong Mad get angry enough to punch him. The main thing that makes him feel invulnerable is having a few too many cold ones.

But those cold ones might loosen his tongue enough to get him to admit his vulnerability: the ladies. Specifically, getting shot down by them.

It makes him wonder, for a moment or two, if he really understands them as well as he thinks he does. How can they resist his charms?

Then he decides it must just be that they don't understand him. They see only his faintly goofy exterior and overlook the love machine within, the veritable volcano of sensitivity waiting to be unleashed. Which leads neatly into the next question:

What would you place in a personal ad if you were making one?

"Single male Latin lover, old enough to know better, seeks hot babe for conversation, cold ones, walks on the beach and making out."

a>strongbad_email.exe

Dear Strong Bad,
If you won the equivalent of $2,000, and had to spend it, what would you spend it on?
Just curious,
rohandove

Two thousand bucks? Aw man, you two, don't do this to a brother! That's just enough that you don't wanna say something like "Yeah, I'd blow it all on cold ones and Swiss cake rolls," but not enough to spend it on anything really cool! But let's see what I can do, working within your artificial and totally lame limitations.

I could spend it on a better power supply for my electric boots. Maybe a generator, with a cart to roll it around on.

Or I could get an awesome electric guitar and an awesome amp. That is, more awesome than the guitar and amp I already got. In the basement.

Or I could spend it on a cool car for the driving chase scenes in Dangeresque 3. Whatever I spent it on, it'd have to be something full of the coolness that says "Strong Bad". Because anything less than the best is a felony.

So, until next time, don't spend all your moneys in one place. Unless that place is at my place, of course.

[CLANG! The paper drops.]

a>strongbad_email.exe

Dear StrongBad,

Why haven't you written me back? I'm feeling like you don't like me anymore.

Any more? I never freakin' liked you in the first place, man!

Come on man. You are a "cool guy" and I would TOTALY buy you a "cold one". Please?


Fhqwhgads

Ooh, "scare quotes". The sure sign of a "penetrating intellect" and a "terrific personality".

I gotta get away from this freakin' duck, man! I'm going to that bar! No way they'd let that loser in there!

Storms away from compy. The paper drops.

a>strongbad_email.exe

Dear Strong Bad,

Would you rather lead or follow? Why? What role do you see yourself playing out over your life, leader or follower?

Yours,
rohandove

Ooh, another letter from Roh and Ove. They're gettin' to be downright regulars around here. Shame they don't know me better than to ask stupid questions like that.

"Would I rather lead or follow?" Either you didn't see the name "Strong Bad", or you just don't know what it means. In either case, permit me to drop some knowledge on your dumb self.

I ain't a follower. I got followers. I got my big brother, I got The Cheat, and I got fhqwhgads followin' me around. Plus I got all the losers fans who send me emails every week. That makes me a leader, and I'm proud of it.

(Well, maybe not proud of fhqwhgads followin' me around, but he always makes sure there's not enough of us there to pummel him before he starts jockin' me.)

And as overlord of Strong Badia, I got the Tire. If that doesn't prove it, then I'm just not gonna continue the conversation, okay?

So until next time, say your prayers, eat your vitamins, email Strong Bad, and you too can be a real Strongamaniac. Comin' back. On the attack.

*CLANG! The Paper drops.*

strongbad_email.exe

Dear Strong Bad:

What is the most important value you can pass onto your child?

Sincerely,
rohandove [pronounced "Roh and Ove", both with long O's]

I'm guessing the two of you are parents yourselves, looking for advice. Well, I can't give you first hand advice on how to raise a kid. I still haven't found a woman who's ready to face the awesome responsibility of being mother to the next generation of Strongs.

The most important value I could pass on? Probably my own inherent AWE. SOME. NESS.

But if I can't give Strong Bad Junior that, I'll pass on the most important lesson Señor Cardgage taught me: being who you are, and not giving a crap what other people think of it.